A baby being born can be an exciting thing for not just the expectant parents but also their friends and family! While we love having our village of support, boundaries do need to be set.
When should we discuss our boundaries with friends and family?
As the birth approaches and out of town family starts making travel plans couples should decide together what their ideal first few weeks home with their newborn look like. This looks different for every couple! Some want a solid 10 days completely alone to bond with their baby and settle into their lives as a new little family. Others want specific people to come spend that time with them as soon as they come home. Whatever boundaries you decide on-they should be clearly explained to friends and family in plenty of time for them to make plans. If you decide not to have them visit right away and they are upset it will be ok! This is your family and your decision.
As a Postpartum Doula it is not uncommon that I spend time with the baby before their grandparents even meet them. As a Doula I am coming in to lend a hand around the house, offer a non judgmental ear and help trouble shoot in a non biased way. Do you have specific family members or friends who would do the same? Maybe they will be the first to come visit.
When first coming home from the hospital you will most likely be tired, and your body is going through the healing process. You are learning your new baby and how to be parents. Maybe you will be breastfeeding and navigating that. When deciding who is going to be in your home those first few weeks think about who you will feel comfortable feeding your baby in front of or not looking your best.
When making your plans telling those in your close circle ahead of time how you may need help can make it much easier when the time comes because everyone will know what to expect. Then the expectation is not just to come hold the baby, but to
offer useful support. This support can be things such as meals, folding laundry, time to take a shower, taking older children to and from school-these are all golden things to ask for help with during your fourth trimester.
Enjoy your sweet new little one and all of the love that your circle will shower you with!
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